Hello. I'm known as DarkShadows in the logs, I'm the one that I guess has sort of become an... unofficial leader of the ladybugs. My real name? Unimportant. My story? Rather long. But I suppose you're wondering why I've been so nervous throughout these logs, and why I've been hesitant to trust any allies we've stumbled across.
You see, I've always been a very anxious, edgy person. I was diagnosed with Generalized Anxiety Disorder when I was very young. Mostly I would think something was literally out to get me or hurt me, or that people were saying things behind my back that they really weren't. I also suffered from terrible nightmares. Not just your normal ones, either, where you're running from monsters or trying to fight off something awful. These ones were... well. They were normally recurring, and normally they would have certain creatures in them that kept coming back. One of them was, I believe, a woman in a shredded, flowing grey dress that kept crying. The odd thing though was that she had branches coming out of her back, and her arms were branches too, it was like she was literally a tree. She scared me, but didn't seem to actively want to harm me too badly. The other being that would recur was a very tall man, faceless, black suit... he frightened me a lot more than the crying tree-woman because there was something about him, something that made me so sure he was going to kill me. Usually I'd end up being chased by them or something, or I'd be all alone and they'd find me and come after me, but that's all I remember about the dreams. I don't even remember what these two nightmare-beings wanted in the dreams, but I do remember them being disturbing and even very graphically violent. I also remember that they would always end before I woke up, screaming and crying. Of course, they were only dreams, and my mother would tell me so, and it would usually be alright... I could control the fear if I tried hard enough, and that's how I've gotten through most of life.
Then I found out it wasn't exactly "just nightmares". Sometime around my thirteenth birthday, I was walking in the park alone. There's quite a few parks and trails by my house, all within walking distance. I was walking down a long trail, one I'd walked down several times before. Something compelled me to go off-trail towards the river that runs parallel to the trail; I don't know what. So I went off-trail into the woods, something I'd also done before and thought little of. It was maybe about halfway down the well-beaten path that I found something odd. There was a symbol scratched in the dirt, a circle with two vertical lines through it. I figured it was grafitti and continued, but then I heard the sobbing. Multi-tone and distant, like more than one voice was crying. It was distinctly female. I became concerned and turned to go back, but the path was missing; all I saw were trees and more trees. I started to feel my chest tighten with nervousness, but I kept going forward. That was a mistake. Because when I went to find the source of the sobbing, I
ran into something else. Him.
It's... one thing to see something in a nightmare. It's quite another to have it standing in front of you, pitch-colored suit, blank face, and all. And it's quite another to feel the powerful aura it radiates, striking you with the worst variety of dread, instantly sending you into panic... Helpless. You feel helpless. You feel like you are looking upon your own death.
I remember watching his head tilt in intrigue ever so slightly, as he had done in the nightmares, and I remember him reaching for me as my paralyzed, terrified gaze stared upward at him in awe. But then, something caught his attention, and he looked up expectantly, and when I followed his eyeless gaze I saw the woman. She still sobbed in that multi-tone voice, and she looked from him to me and back. Her branches rustled irritably.
Then I saw her face... the voids of her eyes, the black liquid that flowed from them like tears... and panic filled me. Her aura seemed one of nothing but complete despair, her intentions remained muddled. And I, caught between inescapable dread and crushing sorrow, did the only thing I could possibly think of to do.
I ran.
I ran like hell, legs aching, lungs burning.
All I knew is I had to get away from them, far away, before something
horrific happened. Especially from him... He... dear God, he reminded me of my own anxiety.
He was that very same anxiety. And she was the crippling sorrow that came afterwards.
Somehow, I made it out and onto the path and home. However foolish, I did research on them and learned their multiple names... but I never said a word of what I saw to anyone. Most people online assumed it was just me being a fan of horror stories. I never told a soul the truth, and yet now... I'm telling complete strangers on a blog I was invited by a friend to post for. Now everyone knows why.
They never left me alone after that. Neither the Tall One nor the Willow. I saw them more than once, casually observing from a distance. I still see them on occasion, watching. I feel them long before I see them. He feels like incredible paranoia; she feels like creeping sadness. I've been dealing with this alone for about eight years now and I never told anyone, because... let's face it, who the hell would believe me? And besides, I don't want others pulled into my problems. I don't want anyone to die, and they can do far worse than kill a man. They don't need to kill to
torment, really... but at the very least, she, the Willow, doesn't seem
to mean me any real harm. She doesn't exude the same aura of pure wrongness that the Tall One does, not quite. I don't know what they want from me and I don't understand why they've been watching me for so long, but I don't think I want to know the answer...
I'll be posting the tenth log from tonight's chat soon. I just figured maybe you'd wanna know a little about me beforehand.
~ Shadows
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